Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What do you do when your family doesn’t care about you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do I randomly start sweating a lot in public (while waiting in line, in a new class, etc.) then start sweating more because I’m embarrassed that I’m sweating so much? Is this social anxiety?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Victims in Mariucci Arena shooting discharged from hospital; still no charges against suspect - 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Rory defends snubbing media, cites 'weird week' - ESPN

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Is it still wrong to spread misinformation even if it's only to troll people rather than harming them?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Citi drops gun policy after Trump slammed banks for discriminating against conservatives - New York Post

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

Tender Moment Nurse Mare Adopts Orphaned Foal As Her Own Has Us in Tears - Yahoo

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Maycee Barber still searching for answers after medical emergency, unclear when she can resume career - MMA Fighting

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How do you get started in bestiality with a dog as a male?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Pablo Lopez To Miss Multiple Months With Teres Major Strain - MLB Trade Rumors

I can count

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work